Jan 29, 2013
I’m nervous as hell right now.
Today me and the GOD are suppose
to talk today…
It’s going to take everything in me not to break down and be weak
it’s gonna take a lot for me to stay focus with my words
and my thoughts
hey…
the GOD is sexy as hell…lol…
yeah, this is definitely not going to be easy.
9:13am
I just finished my classes for the day
Ancient Egypt (Kemet)
and
History of
African American Women
I was calm while I was in class
that’s what the classroom/school
in general does for me –
school is definitely my sanctuary
but
now
my nerves are acting up again
in less than 20 minutes
me and the GOD
will have the conversation
that we need to have:
either we move forward
together
or
I
move on
by
myself…
this is the hardest thing
that I have ever
had to do
in my life
and I’m a mom
so that’s saying something…
so,
here’s to the
ReBirth
of
TRU EARTH…
2:15 pm
January 30
12: oo am
People TRUly are something…
so
me and the GOD had our conversation and honestly…
I can’t even refer to him as that anymore.
At the end of the day –
he played the hell out of me.
What’s messed up is the fact that he does love me – but –
apparently, he can’t be with someone doing the same thing that he is.
meaning
right now, I’m a single mom
in college
just starting my junior year
at the moment
yes
I am struggling – but – I’m handling things.
I’m a sociology major
with a minor in early childhood education
my motto
get them young
and the possibilities are endless
I’m very involved on campus –
all I do is help who ever needs it
He is also a college student
also starting his junior year
he has projects that he’s working on
and
so do I
our
goals in life are the same
but
I guess when he SEEs me
all he SEEs are my struggles
not my potential
which is sad because when I looked at him
I
saw his potential
and wanted to help him as much as I could
that’s the
MOTHER
and
PROTECTOR
in me.
His woman –
got her education
and
now
happily plays around in the DEVILs DEN.
go figure
one who proclaims that HE is a GOD
has a women
whose job is
contributing to the destruction of our
community
with the negative images and stereotypes that we
continuously
SEE and HEAR
in the media
MONEY
he chose the money and the woman
and turned his back on the EARTH –
he had the nerve to try to make it seem like
I’m not on her level
when in reality –
SHE never has been and never will be on MY LEVEL
I’m developing a non-profit
community outreach organization
I’m developing a college level course
that is designed to change the way future teachers are
trained and more
importantly forces them to address their own personal
biases before
they bring their negative energy into the classroom
my mentor is training me to take over her job as the grant
writer for
the education program that I am a part of at school
I’m about my people
I’m about changing the lives of my people
he knew these things about me
I’m not materialistic
If I could stay in school for the rest of my life
I would
I love learning for the sake of learning
I am a student of LIFE…
but
none of that mattered
yes all of these things about me drew him to me
but
at the end of the day
he had a choice to make
BE the GOD
that you are
with me
or live life as a man
with her…
MONEY MATTERS MORE TO HIM I GUESS…
Damn
