Building With TRU…

Jan 29, 2013

I’m nervous as hell right now.

Today me and the GOD are suppose

to talk today…

It’s going to take everything in me not to break down and be weak

it’s gonna take a lot for me to stay focus with my words

and my thoughts

hey…

the GOD is sexy as hell…lol…

yeah, this is definitely not going to be easy.

9:13am

I just finished my classes for the day

Ancient Egypt (Kemet) 

and

History of 

African American Women

I was calm while I was in class

that’s what the classroom/school

in general does for me – 

school is definitely my sanctuary

but

now

my nerves are acting up again

in less than 20 minutes

me and the GOD

will have the conversation 

that we need to have:

either we move forward 

together

or

move on 

by 

myself… 

this is the hardest thing

that I have ever 

had to do 

in my life

and I’m a mom

so that’s saying something…

so, 

here’s to the 

ReBirth 

of 

TRU EARTH…

2:15 pm

January 30

12: oo am

People TRUly are something…

so 

me and the GOD had our conversation and honestly…

I can’t even refer to him as that anymore. 

At the end of the day – 

he played the hell out of me. 

What’s messed up is the fact that he does love me – but – 

apparently, he can’t be with someone doing the same thing that he is.

meaning

right now, I’m a single mom

in college

just starting my junior year

at the moment

yes 

I am struggling – but – I’m handling things. 

I’m a sociology major

with a minor in early childhood education

my motto

get them young 

and the possibilities are endless

I’m very involved on campus – 

all I do is help who ever needs it

He is also a college student

also starting his junior year

he has projects that he’s working on

and

so do I

our

goals in life are the same

  but 

I guess when he SEEs me 

all he SEEs are my struggles

not my potential

which is sad because when I looked at him 

saw his potential

and wanted to help him as much as I could

that’s the

MOTHER

and

PROTECTOR

in me.

His woman – 

got her education 

and 

now 

happily plays around in the DEVILs DEN.

go figure

one who proclaims that HE is a GOD

has a women 

whose job is

contributing to the destruction of our

community

with the negative images and stereotypes that we

continuously

SEE and HEAR

in the media

MONEY

he chose the money and the woman

and turned his back on the EARTH –

he had the nerve to try to make it seem like

I’m not on her level

when in reality –

SHE never has been and never will be on MY LEVEL

I’m developing a non-profit

community outreach organization

I’m developing a college level course

that is designed to change the way future teachers are

trained and more

importantly forces them to address their own personal

biases before

they bring their negative energy into the classroom 

my mentor is training me to take over her job as the grant

writer for

the education program that I am a part of at school

I’m about my people

I’m about changing the lives of my people

he knew these things about me 

I’m not materialistic

If I could stay in school for the rest of my life 

I would

I love learning for the sake of learning

I am a student of LIFE… 

but

none of that mattered

yes all of these things about me drew him to me

but

at the end of the day

he had a choice to make

BE the GOD

that you are

with me

or live life as a man

with her…

MONEY MATTERS MORE TO HIM I GUESS…

Damn 

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